Jake or Edward?
by ForeverImmature
Summary: Edward didn't return in new moon. now, one year on, things are heating up with Jacob. But is Bella ready? Things get even more complicated when Edward returns. Who will Bella choose? R&R! Jalla. Bellward.
1. Shopping

**My Second 'Fic!! D I hope you like it!! PLEASE REVIEW!! Its pretty different from VOV, but the Cullens will feature! –ForeverImmature**

_**Shopping**_

Sighing, I strolled through the shop aisles. Glancing at a top here, some jeans there… there was nothing in Port Angeles that offered much, clothes wise.

"We have to go to Olympia, next time." I said, turning round to see my best friend, who was holding a skirt up against herself in a mirror.

"Hmmm… maybe," She said, distracted by the skirt. It was a striking gold, which complimented her skin tone. "What do you think?"

I walked up and stood behind her, to appraise the skirt from all angles.

"Its nice, I like the net at the bottom."

"Thanks," She smiled, "Trouble is, I have nowhere to wear it. The only people who see me are you and the boys."

"So?" I said, "There are loads of beach parties happening these days, out on the reservation. You'd be a knockout."

She laughed. One side of her mouth quirking up in a smile. A smile which still made me sad.

I'd known Emily for a year now, and she was beautiful. Her long black hair flowed down her back – outgrowing mine by several inches – and she had a perfect figure. Plus she was an awesome person, optimistic and honest. I couldn't have found myself a better friend. It took a lot to upset Emily…but there was something that always got her down.

She was in love with Sam Uley, the leader of the Quileute Pack – a loveable group of werewolves. They were engaged, and so in love it used to make me sick. But one day, before I'd them, Sam had lost control and struck out at his fiancé – who had been standing too close. Emily was scarred forever.

Harsh red marks ran from one side of hairline to one of her feet. She thought that the accident had ruined her looks forever, but it hadn't. If this had happened to anyone else – anyone who wasn't as beautiful as Emily – then things would have been a lot worse.

Emily put the skirt back on the rail. I tutted at her but made no comment. She never treated herself, but I didn't say anything as she linked her arm through mine, and we left that section of the shop.

"Do you want to go back to the second floor?" She asked, as we got on the escalator, "I think that blue blouse would've really suited you."

"Nah…" I said, feeling a little spark in my chest. I pulled my arm away from Emily, and folded my arms. Those feelings were still there, the feelings only one person could make me feel, and I couldn't even open up to Emily sometimes. Blue had been _his_ favourite colour on me… Edward's favourite colour.

Even little things like that would send me into hibernation. The smallest reminder would set me on edge. Emily didn't know how much it affected me. It _had_ been a year after all.

I suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to see Jacob, as we stepped off the escalator. He could distract me from the pain in my chest.

"What do you want to do now?" Emily asked, still shocked from my abrupt coldness.

I felt bad for my behaviour, linked arms with her again and replied:

"I dunno. What do you fancy?"

"Let's head back. The guys'll be whining for food."

I glanced at my watch, and saw it was half past twelve. Emily was right, the boys would probably be back at the cottage already. It was our job to cook for them, since all they could make was burnt toast. It made me laugh to think of six deadly werewolves, clueless when handed a pot or frying pan.

"Yeah." I sighed, as we headed for the exit. "We spoil them, you know."

Emily nodded, "I know, but I really don't want a repeat of the last time."

I laughed at the memory. We'd gone out to the beach one day – just for a day trip – and hadn't been gone three hours, before Quil was on the phone, shrieking that they were starving and couldn't work the cooker.

We'd grudgingly returned home, to find the kitchen in disarray. They'd burnt five loaves of bread, and the microwave was unplugged for some reason. We'd dived into the living room, to find all the guys sprawled out in front of the TV, surrounded by empty pizza boxes. That was not a good day. We could laugh at it now, but things hadn't been pretty.

"You're right." I replied, and we headed through the revolving doors to the car park, where my truck was waiting. Conspicuous and welcoming. We got in, and drove out of Port Angeles. Blasting music out the windows and chatting.

"So how are things with you and Jake?" She asked, leaning her head on her hand.

"Same as usual, I guess. Why the interest?"

"Just wondered."

It was silent for a while, besides the roar of my truck.

Then…

"It just annoys the hell out of me!" Emily exclaimed.

"What?" I jumped, scandalized. Emily wasn't a loud person. She was normally very even tempered. Now she was frustrated.

"I just… don't know why you and Jacob haven't got together already. Like, officially."

"I don't know Em…" I said, avoiding her gaze.

"Do you love him?" That was Emily. Straight to the point.

"Yes." I whispered.

"Then… then what's the problem?"

I didn't answer.

"Bella, please." She said, touching my hand. "It's not _him _is it?"

I knew who she meant. My chest tightened, as did my knuckles on the steering wheel.

I still couldn't speak.

"Bell…" Emily's voice was softer now; she must have sensed my mood. "Jake really cares about you. And if you love him, you should let him in."

I sighed. She had a point. I loved Jacob, Jacob loved me. But I think he sensed that I wasn't ready for a relationship yet. I hadn't recovered, I needed time. And I knew it hurt him every time I avoided the subject of our relationship. It seemed to be annoying Emily too.

"I know." I said.

I could feel the ripping sensation in my chest. It almost hurt. I really needed Jacob now.

"I just need time to think, Emily." I said, my voice raw. "I'm really messed up. But I promise I will decide soon."

"I know you will, Bell." She said. Her voice was appeased, and she patted my hand.

"Now, let's go find those wolves."

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	2. Lunch at the Cottage

**Hey! This is the second chap lol! If you want me to continue, review and tell me please! **

**_Lunch Time at the Cottage_**

I opened the door and jumped out the truck cab. Emily came round to meet me and we headed up the trail, to the cottage. The tiny building had become a home to me in the past few months. Emily kept it neat, and it had a simple, warm beauty about it. I spent the majority of my time there, when I wasn't at La Push or my own house. I thought Charlie would've complained at my frequent absences from my home, but he was just happy to see me happy.

As Emily had predicted, the cottage door was open, which meant the guys – or at least some of them – were there. The house had originally been meant for Emily and Sam as a couple – the pack all had their own homes – but the little house had become a base. It was on the outskirts of the forest, secluded. Quite high up, near the cliffs. Not too close to the town but not too far away either.

Emily had often told the guys not to leave the front door open, but she didn't really mind. No strangers knew the path to the house, so it was hardly worth locking it – even when there was nobody there. We walked into the house and dumped our shopping bags in the narrow hallway.

"Hello?" Emily called, brushing her hair back, "Who's here?"

Jacob came bounding down the thread-bare stairs, his wide shoulders filling the space in front of me, as he swept me up in one of his trademark bear hugs. I was elated to see him, I felt a physical release of pressure, at least until my oxygen supply was cut off by his hug.

"Can't – breathe!" I gasped, but Jacob didn't set me down. I barely had time to register Sam coming to Emily's side, before Jacob threw me over his shoulder – holding me politely by my calves – and ran out, through the kitchen and into the little yard at the back of the house. Luckily the french windows had been open, or we would have hurtled into the glass.

"What's new?" Jacob asked nonchalantly, setting me down on the grass, as if he hadn't just grabbed me and whirled me around at a hundred miles an hour.

"You – would – ha-ave – thought – I'd be – used to – that – by – now." I said, the wind knocked out of me.

"Let her catch her breath, Jake." Embry said, walking down the hall towards us.

"Go away, dog breath!" Jacob shouted. "This is _my_ Bella time!"

"Dog breath?" Embry laughed, stopping in the door way. "Is that the best you can do?"

Jacob growled, and threw a nearby rock at him. Embry dodged it easily, and laughed like a five-year-old on a sugar rush. Jacob made an obscene gesture with his fingers.

"Charming!" Embry guffawed, before skulking off.

Jacob looked back at me, as if there had been no interruption.

"Well?" He asked.

"Oh, nothing much happened. Em and I were shopping. What have you been up to?"

"Just running about. Testing our limits."

I laughed, they did that a lot.

"What's the latest pack gossip?" I asked.

"Oh, Jared's got an ingrown toenail."

"Ewwww!"

"You wanted to know!"

"Anything else?"

"Nope. So bet your hungry, huh?"

He wrapped his arm around my waist, and whispered, his breath hot in my ear…

"Starving."

I wriggled away from him, brushing my hair over my shoulder to conceal my face. I didn't like it when things stopped being a joke. When things got serious. It made my chest tighten convulsively.

Jacob pretended not to notice, but I could tell that I'd hurt him. But I couldn't go there. Not now. Not yet.

"I'll go see what Emily's cooking." I said, getting up from the long grass. My face hot. Almost as hot as Jacob's skin as he put a restraining hand on my arm. I looked at him, and his brown eyes burned into mine. I knew what he was thinking.

I smiled at him, knowing it didn't reach my eyes. Gently pulling my arm free, I turned away. And walked back through the french windows, into the kitchen.

Emily was stirring an enormous pot of pasta on the stove. Her long hair tied back at the nape of her neck. Her little yellow apron draped around her small frame.

"What's up, Bells?" She asked, glancing round at me as I grabbed a knife and stood at the chopping board.

"Oh, nothing much." I lied, beginning to slice peppers. Not looking at Emily.

"Yeah, right." I saw her roll her eyes in my side view, "Sorry, Bella. But you aren't much of an actress."

"OK, OK." I sighed, "It's about Jake – you're right, I do care about him. I just don't know what to do, I'm not sure how I feel… and he obviously wants to take things further."

Emily stopped stirring, and turned around to face me.

"You have to explain this to him. I don't know what to say, Bella. I don't know what's going on with you sometimes, you kind of… close off. Don't get me wrong, I still love ya, but… this is a conversation you need to have with Jake."

I nodded, and sighed. Emily was totally right. I couldn't use her as a go-between. This was something I had to deal with, something only I could decide.

I kept on chopping vegetables, and our conversation moved on to lighter topics. Emily had some very interesting gossip.

"I totally forgot to tell you. I was out with Sam yesterday, and we bumped into that girl.. what's her name? Jenna or something…she was with that kid with the spiky blonde hair."

"Jessica and Mike?"

"Yes, that's it. I remembered them from that beach party last month. They went to your school, right?"

"Yup." I said, as I sautéed vegetables in a pan.

"Well… Jessica is pregnant!"

"WHAT?" I dropped the wooden spoon in shock.

"Yeah, she was totally showing. And she was having an argument with Mike about something. Nearly knocking him over with her stomach."

I gasped. I hadn't seen Jess in so long, since the after school graduation party! Sure, I'd seen her around Port Angeles now and again, but only from a distance, when I was with Em. This was so odd. Jessica was only nineteen. A couple of months younger than me!

Emily put the spaghetti through the strainer. "Obviously she wasn't being careful."

"And Mike must be the father." I said, leaning against the counter, "Oh my god, this is so weird."

Emily shrugged, and began stirring tomato sauce and vegetables into the pasta.

"Stranger things have happened." She said, "Now would you get the cheese out the fridge?"

"Sure." I mumbled, and went to fetch it.

"Lunch is ready!" She hollered in no particular direction. This was met by the sound of thumping footsteps, from every direction. Soon, Sam, Quil, Embry, Jared and Paul had all crowded into the little kitchen, and were jostling for the first plateful of the food.

Jacob still hadn't come in from the garden yet. I had to make it up with him.

I grabbed the first two plates of steaming hot pasta – which resulted in various cries of protest - and squeezed past the guys. I heard Emily telling them off, before I shut the French doors behind me.

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	3. Surprise

**I love the 6 of you who reviewed!! I wasn't gonna keep going but I like it. If you're reading now please review! Crit is welcome!! (I am totally on Team Edward for the next book btw, just wanted to see how this would turn out!!)**

**_Surprise_**

"Jake?" I said, stopping by the closed doors. He was lying in the grass, looking up at the cloudless sky. Ignoring me. This was gonna take some smoothing over. I balanced the two plates of Emily's delicious food, and stumbled over to him. Collapsing gracelessly into the grass, nearly tipping the plates into his lap.

Jacob still didn't move.

His eyes remained fixed on the too blue sky. I wafted the food in his direction, knowing he was hungry after the run. But still, he ignored me. He was obviously EXTREMELY annoyed. Usually he couldn't resist the mouth watering dishes Emily (And I) served up.

After a few minutes, I gave up on the food – putting it down on the grass – and poked my best friend in the ribs.

"Aw, Jake! Come on! Don't be mad." I whined, leaning over him, blocking out his view of the sky. Trying to make him look at me. Letting my hair fall like a curtain over his face. I didn't care if he got the wrong idea, I just wanted him to be my friend again.

But he didn't respond. The silence was loud.

"Jake… I'm sorry." I said. Pleading with him. Why couldn't he understand?

"Yeah?" he looked me dead in the eyes. "Well so am I."

There was a steely note to his voice that I'd never heard before, and no hint of humour in his dark eyes.

I was the silent one now. I leaned away from him, as he sat up.

"Why?" his voice was incredulous and frustrated, "Why do you always pull away, Bella?"

I looked down at my feet. Not wanting to answer.

After a few seconds, Jacob sighed and edged over to me. He gently took my face in his big hands. Angling my chin up, so that I had to meet his penetrating gaze. I could tell he wanted an answer. An answer I knew all too well.

"Just give me time…" I whispered.

"How much time do you _need_?!" He was exasperated now, dropping his hands from my face.

I hung my head as I said "I… I don't know." even more quietly.

Jacob stared at me, and I watched his face from under my lashes. Slowly, the anger was ebbing away again. Being replaced by mingled confusion, hurt, pain and sorrow. I hated doing this to him. He didn't deserve it.

But then Jake did what he always did when we'd had a fight. He came over to me and put his warm arms tenderly around my shoulders. I hated myself for it, but still I leaned back into his embrace. Using him in the most evil way. Letting him hope.

But his arms felt so good around me, and I was happy to have him back.

The food beside us got cold, as he held me against his chest.

-

Later, I said goodbye to everyone in the little cottage. Emily had begged me to stay the night, but Charlie would probably want dinner.

I slid into my truck, cranking down the window as far as it would go. Although it was now early evening, the heat was still heavy in the air. I was just putting on my seatbelt, when Jake came bounding outside, stopping at my window.

It was hard to believe that just a few hours ago, he had been frustrated. Angry. Now he was just Jacob. So innocently happy.

"Hey Bell! Just wanted to check what time you're coming over tomorrow."

"Not sure. I'll call you in the morning and make plans."

"Cool." He smiled awkwardly. It was so easy to tell that he wanted to say something else.

"Jake…?"

"Yeah?"

"Was there something else you wanted?"

He looked at me, as if he were trying to gage my reaction to something.

After a minute, he said:

"Nah, I'll see you tomorrow Bells. Have a nice night."

And he leant through the window and kissed my cheek – probably a little too enthusiastic a kiss – before hurrying back to the house.

'_What was that all about?'_ I wondered, as I pulled out the drive.

-

As I stepped out the truck, I could sense something wasn't right. The windows of my house were dark, and the porch light was off. Where was Charlie?

I pulled out my key and unlocked the door. The hall was in darkness. This was weird. Surely my Dad would've mentioned if he was going out somewhere?

As I switched on the light, I noticed that there was a note on the table by the door. I picked it up.

_Bells,_

_Sorry its short notice, but I'm staying over at La Push tonight. There's a really good game on and Billy and I are heading off early to go fishing tomorrow. I'll be gone most the weekend. I hope that's alright. _

_If you need anything, just call the Black house. If you want, you can invite Emily over for sleepover tonight._

_Love Dad _

_P.S Call me when you get this! I wanna check you're cool with stuff. I don't have the number for Emily's place._

I smiled. I was glad that Charlie was off having fun. He deserved it. Although I'd become much better recently, there had been a time in my life that I was… a lot worse. So he deserved as much fun as he could have, in return for the stress and pain I'd caused him previously.

I walked to the kitchen and – after switching the lights on – grabbed the phone off the table. I quickly dialled Jacob's house number. And Billy picked up after three rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey Billy. Its Bella."

"Oh hi. I suppose you wanna talk to Charlie?"

"Yeah, thanks."

There was a short pause, then Charlie come on the phone.

"Hey Bells!" He said, sounding relieved to hear my voice. "You got my note. Are you ok with everything?"

"Sure, Dad." I laughed, "I'm gonna go up to the cottage tomorrow, and tonight I'll watch a movie or phone Em."

"That's good. Did you have a nice day?"

"Yeah, I went shopping this morning and to the cottage in the afternoon. How was work?"

"It was alright. Nothing new. Anyway, I better go, the game's about to start."

"Hang on a sec, is Jake home yet?"

"Nope. Billy reckons that he's still at Emily's. I have no idea what you kids get up to over there."

I laughed.

"Nothing in particular. Just hanging out. So I'll see you soon."

"Yeah. Sweet dreams hun."

"Night Dad."

I hung up.

It was quiet in the house. And I didn't know what to do with myself. I was still full from the food I'd stuffed at Emily's, and the laundry was done.

I ambled up to my room, planning on emailing my Mom. But I was greeted by something that distracted me completely.

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	4. Mind Over Matter?

**I have 15 reviews now! I feel a bit better, so I will finish this for you guys! Thanks so much for the support! Keep reviewing!**

**This is shorter than the others. But I'm rushing. Its kinda a crazy chapter, to reflect Bella's state of mind.**

**_Mind Over Matter?_**

_FLASHBACK: I ambled up to my room, planning on emailing my Mom. But I was greeted by something that distracted me completely._

It was something impossible.

Something that nearly made me lose consciousness.

There was a slim, white piece of paper on my – otherwise empty – windowsill. I'd noticed it immediately, because it stood out from the cream furnishings. And the window faced the door. There was no way Charlie would've been in my room. Someone had been here.

My heart began to hammer erratically in my chest. Who was it? Was I in danger?

It had been a long time since I'd felt so out of control. The hole in my chest was ripping open. The pain intensifying as I walked to where the paper lay, folded neatly, leaning against the window pain. What was it?

A year ago, I would never have reacted like this. It was a small piece of paper, that was all. But the rational part of me had dissipated when Edward – I flinched as I thought his name – had walked out my life, a year ago. It was strange that I was so worked up about a folded piece of paper. A stupid piece of paper!

I squared my shoulders and snatched the thing from the sill, almost crumpling it in my grip. I was angry at my reaction. Ashamed of myself.

I still couldn't bring myself to unfold it.

I walked to my bed, shoving it on my pillow. A deranged part of me thought that if I put off reading it, I would still be in control of whatever it said. I skulked to the bathroom, banging the door behind me.

_I'm really crazy. _I thought, as I stripped off my clothes and stepped under the hot spray of the shower. _Acting like a two year old. _

When I was ready for bed – although it was only half past nine – I went back to my room. The paper was still sitting there – slightly crumpled, but still folded – on my pillow.

I lounged on my bed, and took it in my hands. After a deep breath, I unfolded it.

_Isabella,_

_I know it has been a lifetime since I last spoke to you, and I regret that every day. I know you must despise me, but I am praying that I have a chance to explain things to you. I owe you that, and I can't rest easy until I'm sure that there is no chance that you will forgive me. In fact, I can't rest easy at all. I haven't since last year. On that terrible day that haunts me._

_If you are willing to let me speak to you, please leave your window open tomorrow night. I will come at ten o'clock, and if the window is closed… I will have my answer. I know I don't deserve to see you, and I'll understand if you say no. _

_Despite everything you might think, Bella. I love you. I have been battling with myself for the past year, until I could not take our separation any longer. _

_If you decide that I've hurt you too much – which I most certainly have – then I will leave. But remember, my darling, that – no matter what happens after this – I love you. I always have and I always will. For every second of my wretched existence. With my silent heart, my broken body and my non-existent soul. _

_Let me explain._

_Open your window._

_Edward_

It could have been a moment. It could have been an hour.

I lay on the bed. Edward's letter clasped in my hands. It was even later when I noticed that I was shaking, and tears were streaming down my hot cheeks.

Edward…

Edward.

I repeated his name in my head. It was as familiar as ever, that name. Two syllables, but they held so much meaning in my heart. What was the phrase he'd used? Broken body. His body was broken. So was my heart.

Should I see him?

My mind screamed YES. I was already visualizing his beautiful face. I was digging up memories I had worked so hard to bury. But I didn't care. I welcomed it…

_What about Jake?_

This voice was small, but strong in the back of my head. _What about Jake?_

He loved me. I didn't know how I felt about him.

The rest of my mind tried to suppress the voice, but I wouldn't let it. I forced myself to think of Jacob.

I thought of that moment in the garden today. His hot skin against mine as he held me close. How had that felt? I couldn't even remember, my mind had been so eclipsed by the memories of Edward. I saw us sitting in the meadow, his skin glittering gloriously in the sun.

This was too much.

But I couldn't stop staring at Edward's letter. I didn't even feel myself falling asleep, the fatigue dragging me under... until the dream claimed me.

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	5. Decision

**Yo, sorry this took so long to write!! **

**This isn't a particularly good chapter, but I'm working on the next one!! (I've had BAD writer's block recently...)**

_**Decision**_

The next morning, I awoke with Edward's letter still stuck to my face. Dazed and disorientated, I stumbled out the room, bleary-eyed. I was in need of a hot shower. My mind was in a painful muddle, crazy images were flitting around my brain. I had to stop and rest against the bath, trying to differentiate dreams from reality.

_Jacob loved me._

_Edward was back._

They were the two stone cold facts that I had to deal with. But no matter how much I tired, I couldn't reconcile them. They simply couldn't exist together.

I kept seeing Edward's beautiful, glorious face in my mind. I heard his voice. I could almost smell his intoxicating scent, it made my heart speed up. Stupid, betraying, beautiful Vampire.

_Why wouldn't he just stay away?_

I was shocked that the last thought had even entered my head. My entire being longed for Edward. And yet… there was a tiny part of me that yearned for him to leave me alone. For him to save me this hurt, and just… let me be.

_Let me be…_

_With Jacob._

I gasped, and almost fell backwards into the empty tub. Righting myself, I stared at my shocked face in the mirror. It was me, Bella. Same eyes, same hair. Me. Was I really thinking this? Was there some part of me that wanted Jake? That wanted Edward to leave?

No… it couldn't be.

Edward was the core of who I was. He was my life, my love, my soul. What was this? This cold feeling at the back of my chest, this tiny drop of ice in my heart?

Did I love Jake?

-

I lay on the sofa, my headphones in my ears. The music up so loud that I didn't hear the phone ring until the last second. Hurriedly I snatched it up, thinking it might be Charlie.

"Bella?"

It was Jake.

"Oh, hi Jacob. What's up?"

"Um… you said you'd call this morning."

Damn! I'd completely forgotten. I sat on the edge of the sofa.

"Oh, sorry. I overslept."

"It's okay. So are you around today? There's a beach party tonight and Emily wants help getting ready."

"Sure. What time?"

"Well everyone's meeting up at around eight, but um… you can come over now if you want. Its just Em at the cottage now, me and the guys are going out for a run."

"Cool. I'll get over there and help make lunch."

"Thanks Bell, dunno what we'd do without you."

There was something about the phrase that set me on edge.

"Ha. See you then."

"Bye Bella."

His voice sounded strained, like he was hovering on saying something else. But I wasn't in the mood for probing.

Hanging up the phone, I went upstairs to grab tonight's party gear.

-

"What do you think of this?" Emily asked. Holding up _another _top.

"Em, anything you wear will be nice. I don't know why you're getting so worked up over a little beach party. It's nothing special."

"I know, but I want to look nice for Sam. I don't want him to lose interest in me."

I sat up.

"Emily, don't be ridiculous. Of course he won't. What brought this on?"

"Oh… I don't know."

"Yes you do, now tell me."

I got up and dragged her into a sitting position.

"Well… Leah is going to be there tonight. Sam was with her for so long… I'm worried there's still something there."

"Don't be stupid. You are Sam's life partner, he imprinted on _you_. And besides, Leah sounds like a cow."

"She's not… well, she wasn't always. Sam's transformation really messed her up. I don't think it helped that I stabbed her in the back."

"Emily, you did NOT. Nobody can help the way they feel. It wasn't your fault."

Em sighed and got up, continuing to ransack her wardrobe.

"Anyway," She said, "What's up with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You haven't been focused since you got here."

"Oh, nothing… I'm just tired."

Emily looked at me. She knew I was lying.

"Come on, let's cook lunch. The guys will be here soon." I said, trying to distract her before she could broach the subject.

"Kay. I thought we'd make burgers." Emily knew my tactics, but she must've sensed I wasn't ready to discuss things.

"Sounds good."

We began to walk downstairs. When I remembered something.

"I can't stay late at the party tonight, I have some stuff to do at home."

"Oh. OK, then."

Emily's face was disappointed, and I could see suspicion in her almond-shaped eyes. But there was no way I was telling her my plans for tonight.

Tonight would be important, as it would decide my future.

Tonight, I would open my window.

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	6. Pain

**Ok lol!! I decided I'd spin this out over two chaps!! Lol if you want more, review! L.Y xxx**

_**Pain**_

After lunch, the guys were banished from the cottage, while Emily and I got ready. I wore a pair of denim cut-offs and a red vest. Emily finally decided on a beautiful gold mini-dress. I still thought that she was taking it too far. She always looked amazing, she didn't need to make the effort.

When we got to the beach, I saw that Jacob was already getting the fires going. The sky was a beautiful pink, and people were beginning to arrive. Emily super-glued herself to my side, keeping her eyes open for the infamous Leah Clearwater. I patted her reassuringly.

Jared, Paul, Embry and Quil were sitting on the logs around the fire that was beginning to burn. As Emily and I approached, they all sat up… and Jacob looked at me over the flames he was tending. He just crouched there, leaning over the fire, staring at me as Emily and I moved towards him. Only when he narrowly missed burning himself, did he remove his penetrating gaze. My cheeks were hot, and I felt Emily's eyes on me.

"Hello, Ladies!" Quil yelled, wolf-whistling. I rolled my eyes at him and took a seat on the sand, surveying the scene. Em hovered, staring around anxiously for Sam. I grabbed her hand and pulled her down beside me.

"He'll be here." I muttered in her ear, trying to calm the waves of anxiety that were almost tangible around her.

"What if he isn't?" She whispered back, her voice wobbly. "What if he's with _her_?"

"He isn't!" I said fiercely. The guys looked round at me in surprise, but I ignored them, lowering my voice.

"He is! I know he is!" She was on the verge of tears.

This was so weird. Emily – of the two of us – had always been the strong one. She calmed _me_ down when I was stressed. Now I was the one comforting. I wrapped my arms around her.

_Where was he? Why was he putting his fiancé through this? _I thought angrily.

But, everything was okay.

I looked up to see Sam approaching, his tall frame standing out above the people who were now buzzing around. He looked at Emily – who was staring at the sand, fighting back tears – and began to run. He didn't care that people stared at him; he just broke into a sprint. Right there and then, across the sand. He was above us before I could blink.

Sam's arms slid around Emily, as he lifted her from the ground. I looked up to see her cradled against his chest, all the worry gone. A stab of pain seared through my chest. It had been a long time since I'd been so peaceful, so easily pleased. So… happy.

As if on cue, Jake sat down beside me. I leaned into his hug without prompting. I needed someone at that moment.

The four of us were silent, as we held one another. Each of us in different pain.

-

The lights were on as I pulled up at my house. Charlie was home. I let myself in, and found him on the sofa, fast asleep. He must've been really wiped from the trip. I mean, it was only nine thirty.

_Wasn't it?_

I glanced at my watch. And jumped in surprise and horror. It was ten o'clock already… past ten o'clock. It was five past!! I'd missed Edward. I flung my bag on the floor and ran to my room, to see my dark, closed window.

"NO!"

Then, I stopped. Why was I so upset about this? Earlier, I'd been questioning whether I wanted him back. But now, I knew I did. I needed him. Right here. Right now.

But he was gone…

Or was he?

I flung open the window, letting a gust of wind blow into my face, making my hair fly out around me.

"EDWARD!" I yelled desperatley into the night, not caring who heard me. Charlie was probably too deeply asleep to hear anyway.

There was no answer.

Just the rustle of leaves.

Then, I heard it. I heard_ him._

Far in the distance, toward the forest.

"BELLA!"

I heard it. It was faint, but it was there. Coming from the dark trees.

My heart beat faster in my chest. Fully whole for the first time in a year.

_He'd called my name._

**You know the drill lol xxx**


	7. Edward Returns

**Hey! Sorry this took forever to update. I know there are some confusing bits, but all will be explained in the next chap. I swear I'll update faster, as long as I get reviews hehe!**

_**Edward Returns**_

"Bella!"

He called again. I gasped. Even from a distance, his voice was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard. I stepped back from the window, knowing he was coming, and sat on my bed. _Edward was coming… Edward was here._

In a matter of seconds, he flew through my window. Almost as clumsy as me in his haste, his body a blur as he sped noiselessly towards me…and then stopped abruptly.

He was thirsty. Deep purple bruises shadowing his dark eyes. He looked almost ill, his hair tousled, his eyes wild and desperate. Other than that, he was just the same as before. Just as tall, just as strong and so heart-breakingly beautiful it took my breath away.

I didn't speak as he took a careful step towards me. Not touching me, but within reach. His eyes burned into mine.

"B-Bella…" He repeated, his voice hoarse.

"I'm sorry I'm late." I said uselessly, wanting to break the ice, "I got caught up."

He ignored this, and said:

"Bella, I- I'm so sorry."

At first, I just looked at him. Not sure what my expression displayed. The joy and shock of seeing him had subsided, and I knew that I had to hear his explanation.

"I grasped that from your letter." I said. "You said you wanted to explain things."

"I do," He said, taking another careful step towards me. Inside, I was burning to reach out and touch his face… to see if the texture was as wonderful as I remembered – now that I permitted myself to remember.

He took a deep breath and continued, "Bella, I… I don't know where to begin. I owe you so much, and I know I will never be able to fully make amends."

I said nothing.

"But," He stared at me pleadingly. "You have to understand. What I said was a lie, the most twisted lie ever told. I thought I would save you if I left, I would keep you safe. I thought that… if you had a normal human life… that, that… things would be better."

This was so strange. Edward was struggling for words. Frustrated, he ran his fingers agitatedly through his bronze hair. A trait I remembered well from the time we'd been together, I sensed he'd been doing it a lot recently.

He looked like he was going to rip his hair out, so I put a restraining hand on the cold skin of his arm. I felt a sharp electric shock race through my fingertips at the contact. But I didn't pull away.

Slowly, carefully, Edward ran his cold hand up my arm. I shivered at his touch. My mind told me to pull away, but I couldn't move an inch from where I was. Frozen, beside Edward, the vegetarian Vampire who had broken my heart… and then put it back together again.

-

"Bella?"

I snuggled deeper beneath the covers, snuffling slightly. At first, not wanting to wake up. Before realising…

EDWARD WAS HERE.

I sat bolt upright and stared around crazily. Before settling on someone's face…

Charlie's face.

"Morning." He said, grinning.

"Wh-what time is it?" I rasped. Staring blearily around.

"Early. Sorry I woke you, but you were thrashing about. I was worried you'd hurt yourself."

"Oh. Right."

"You wanna go back to sleep?"

"Nah. I'm awake now, I'll just go take a shower. How was your weekend by the way?" I tried to make my voice sound vaguely normal. Luckily Charlie was in a hurry.

"It was alright. I got some fish in the freezer. I'd better go now, gotta get to the station. See ya tonight, Bells."

He ruffled my hair and left the room.

I listened to him leave the house. Only when I heard the cruiser pull away, did I jump off the bed and turn around to face the window.

The… _closed_ window.

That was when I realised...

It had all been a dream.

_A stupid, stinking dream_.

How could I have done this to myself?

I flung myself on the bed and wept.

WHY?

_Why?_

Why?

**R&R XX**


	8. Jacob

**Sorry. Another short one, but the best I've got atm lol... once again, some bits are a leeetle confuzzling but it will all become clear!! **

**_Jacob_**

I sobbed my – freshly broken – heart out before heading for the bathroom. As I washed my face, I avoided the mirror. I knew what I would see. I dreaded my bloodshot eyes and miserable expression. How had I let this happen? _How?_

After standing there aimlessly for a few minutes… or hours… I went downstairs and raided the cupboards. Picking up the biggest chocolate bar I could find – a family size – I headed for the sofa.

-

A couple of hours later, the phone rang. I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Bella? It's Jake."

"Oh, hi."

"You wanna come up to La Push?"

I looked around the living room. Surveying it. There wasn't much to keep me there, and I fancied a trip out of the house. I wanted to get some fresh air. Maybe Jacob could make me feel better.

"Sure. I'll be there in a bit."

"Kay. See you."

"Bye."

-

I pulled up to the Black drive, and sat in the truck cab for a bit. Checking my complexion in the wing mirror. I'd cleaned up before leaving, but I couldn't wipe the familiar dead look from my eyes. Jake would notice it, he knew it so well. But, there was no point putting it off. Jumping out the cab, I headed up the path.

The door opened before I could knock, and I saw Jacob standing in the doorway.

"Bella!" My favourite smile lit up on his face. I felt some of my inner pain ease at the sight of it, but the smile disappeared when Jake noticed my expression. I was trying to hide it by quirking my lips up, but my attempts proved fruitless. He knew me too well.

"Hey, Jake." I said, leaning in and hugging him. His arms wrapped around me, his hands stroking my hair. The worry evident in his posture.

I didn't pull away. I needed the comfort of somebody's arms. Anyone's arms. I needed the knowledge that _somebody_ loved me. _Somebody_ needed me. And Jake provided that service. Though he wasn't enough. Selfishly, I clung on besides… he didn't seem to mind, sweeping me up in his arms and carrying me into the empty living room.

He pulled me on to the sofa, and let me rest against him in silence.

Until he couldn't take it anymore.

"Bella…" He began to ask.

But I silenced him, placing a finger to his lips. His very hot lips… I felt the heat on my fingertips. Jacob looked me dead in the eye, bewildered but hopeful. Slowly, he took my finger away and leaned towards me. I stayed frozen, as his lips neared mine. He still looked apprehensive, expecting me to duck away, to push him away.

But I knew that I wanted this. Jacob Black would never be Edward Cullen, but he would help me get through this now. With that thought in my mind, I leaned forward… to meet him halfway.

-

Half an hour later, Jake walked me to the door. I smiled at him – properly, this time – and was about to open it, when he put a hot hand on my arm. I turned around, and he grabbed me by my waist, lifting me from the floor. So that we were eye to eye.

"Bella…" He said, his voice rough, "I love you."

Before I could say a word, he kissed me again. Roughly, passionately. I couldn't help responding, it was still that need for reassurance, though I knew in my heart that it was so wrong.

He put me down when we were gasping, and I left the house. Smiling and promising to call him when I got home. As I headed up the path, the ache became present again in my chest. It was mostly my pining for Edward, with a hint of self-loathing for my treatment of Jacob…

I was dragged from my thoughts as I reached my truck. I stood stock still and fixed my eyes on the figure at the edge of the trees.

"Bella."

Edward gasped.

**Review pleaseee xxxx**


	9. Fighting

**Thanks so much for the reviews!! I love you all! I'm hoping to get lots of them! xx  
**

_**Fighting**_

I gasped, too. Before raising my arm to my lips and biting down… hard. If this was a dream, I would wake up now. When I didn't, I gasped again.

What was Edward doing here? A) He couldn't cross treaty lines and B) What had brought him back?

A disconcerting sense of déjà vu flooded me, as I realised my mistake. It hadn't been a dream! Edward had been there, that night… and now he would've heard Jacob's declaration…I wondered why he had left that night, but there was no time to ask him.

"Edward." I whispered, still reeling from the realisation. "You have to get out of here, NOW."

He couldn't stay here. Jacob would smell him any second and would come to fight. What was Edward thinking? He had broken the treaty!

He shook his head at me.

"I'm not going anywhere." He said sadly.

"WHAT?" I jumped at him, and tried to push him back through the trees. He wouldn't move, his cold hands locked around my wrists as he pushed me gently away.

"You deserve better than me, Bella." He said, "I see that now. Alice saw your decision earlier, you have chosen Jacob and that is the best thing for you. But I'm afraid I can't go on without you. Therefore I have come here for an easy way out."

What? Hadn't Alice seen the reason behind that decision? I only did this because I didn't think Edward would ever come back.

A cold hand gripped my heart. Edward had come here to _die._ Because he thought that I wanted Jacob, from what he had just heard.

"Edward, I-" I wanted to explain, but I was silenced by his cold marble lips coming down hard on mine. His hands were still around my wrists. This was a kiss of farewell… I pulled away, although I wished I didn't have to… ever.

"Edward. I only came here today because I thought I'd dreamed meeting you before. I love _you._"

A smile lit up his angel's face… but then it was replaced with a scowl. Not directed at me, but behind me.

"What?" Jacob's voice cracked like a whip, through the cold air.

He approached us slowly, repelled by Edward's smell. I didn't know what to do…

"Jake!" I called, turning round to face him… pleading.

What the hell was going on? Edward was here, in an off-limits area, faced with a hostile Werewolf who had just overhead me professing my love. This was not good.

Edward drew me behind his body and crouched in his fighter's pose. He was going down fighting.

Jake began to prowl in front of him, his frame shaking and instinctive snarls ripping through his chest.

"Alone today, Dog?" Edward growled.

"This is between me and you." Jacob said, baring his teeth.

"Then leave her out of it."

"Go home, Bella. I'll come get you when it's over."

"Actually, I will."

"You're not leaving here alive."

"She is _mine._"

"Not anymore."

I let out a high-pitched scream as Edward leapt forward. Jacob was just as fast, shedding his clothes as he transformed.

In a blink of an eye, I saw Edward and Jacob.

A ruthless Vampire and a furious Werewolf. Neither was the man I'd thought they were. Which meant I was gonna have to wade in. I cared too much about them, and things were verging on down right ridiculous.

I jumped between them, as they both lunged for each other.

**Review xx**


	10. Declaration

**SERIOUSLY SHORT. Sorry guys!! I'm ill at the moment and am on a time limit here!! I'll try and update soon but I'm really busy atm!! PLEASE REVIEW!**

_**Declaration**_

Edward lurched backwards, trying to yank me away from the fight. But Jacob was wound too tight, his anger and aggression towards Edward was too strong to reel back in. He continued to fight, snapping and growling at Edward as he struggled to shove me behind him again. I wasn't having that. Taking advantage of Edward's distraction (he was trying to fight Jake off) I dug my boots into the ground, determined to remain between them.

Jacob weaved round me, roaring now. Going for Edward's throat. I flung myself on top of Jacob, as his jaws scraped Edward's hard skin. Jacob lumbered backwards, trying to throw me off without hurting me. Another frustrated and angry roar echoed out through the trees. I flung my arms around my best friend's neck and hung on. I felt Edward come up behind me and grab my legs, trying to wrench me away from his enemy. He thought that Jacob would hurt me. I glared at Edward, and he released me.

I wouldn't let go…

Until I had to.

Jacob keeled over suddenly, and fell to the ground. I saw that Edward had sunk his teeth into his neck from behind.

"NO!" I screamed, as I began to fall. Edward caught me before my face hit the earth, and flung me over his shoulder. I fought against him as he began to run back through the trees. My last sight of Jacob was of him lying face down on the ground – still in wolf-form – blood seeping from his neck. Was he dead?

"JAKE!" I screamed, tears seeping from my eyes as he disappeared from view. I continued to fight against Edward, but his hands formed chains around me. I was locked in an unbreakable grasp.

"He will heal." Edward whispered. "The bite wasn't fatal. His pack brothers will find him soon. I can hear them approaching, they saw something was wrong."

I breathed a sigh of relief and said nothing as we left the forest.

"My family are back in town." He continued, "Would you like to visit them?"

I wasn't sure how I felt about Edward at that moment. But I really wanted to see Alice again; I'd missed her.

"OK." I agreed hoarsely. My voice was strained from screaming.

_Jake…_

-

As Edward jogged – with me still astride his back – up to the familiar Cullen home, I gasped. It was like the vampires had never been away. Light streamed through the open door, illuminating the drive as we approached.

Barely a second after Edward set me on my feet, I was met by a familiar person who slammed into me. Alice. I embraced her fiercely, and stepped back to see her full on. She looked the same as ever, of course.

Close behind her, I saw the rest of the Cullens standing in a loose group. Each set of golden eyes were set on my face. They all looked so beautiful, it took my breath away.

The reunion was interrupted, however, when Edward spoke.

He wrapped an arm around my waist and addressed the room:

"The war has started."


	11. Promise

**You guys may have not forgiven me for my LONG absense. I've been ill, and busy, and away. I missed you all, but I've been suffering writer's block. I hope you still like me, and believe me when I say that the next update will be in less than a week. Its the holidays now. Please review it if you want more. All the way through writing this, I was listening to All American Rejects - It Ends Tonight. It seemed fitting, somehow.  
**

**_Promise_**

"War?"

I struggled round and faced Edward. His face was a mask. I couldn't read a single expression in his tight jaw, set lips and steely eyes. Only when I glanced at the floor did I notice that his other hand was curled into a tight fist. The knuckles white. I reached down and stroked his hand as I twisted round to face the rest of the Cullen family.

"Yes." Alice's voice was a sad monotone. "War."

"B-but…" I stuttered, confused.

"Edward," Carlisle glared at him, "Not only crossed treaty lines, he also bit a Quileute wolf. If that's not grounds for a war then I don't know what is."

I let out my breath in a sharp gasp. _What?_ I looked round at the vampires again. Emmett looked excited, Jasper calculating, Alice frustrated, Esme worried and Carlisle angry. Rosalie looked bored… as always. Edward's expression was still a mask.

Then something occurred to me.

"Oh my god! Edward we have to go back!" I screamed.

Edward grabbed my wrist as I made a break for the door.

"What for?"

"You BIT Jake!"

"He won't turn into some sort of vampiric mutant if that's what you're thinking." Carlisle murmured behind me.

"No?" I breathed out a sigh of relief. I trusted the doctor.

"No. His system will fight the spreading venom. As long as he was in wolf form, it will only leave him unconscious for a few hours."

My heart slowed down, and I lapsed into Edward's waiting arms.

"However," Carlisle continued. "The damage has been done. The pack will be preparing for battle. Emmett, Jasper… you know what to do."

Emmett and Jasper nodded and left the room, disappearing up the winding staircase.

"Huh?" I said thickly. "Where are they going?"

"To prepare." Carlisle said quietly. "There is going to be a fight."

-

"I still don't see why you even have to have this battle." I whined again, as I sat on my bed. "Jake said it was 'just between you two' anyway."

Edward ignored my statement, and sat down. I could feel the cold of his body beside me, though we weren't touching. He was watching me, but I couldn't bring myself to look into his face. Afraid of what I might find there. I continued to gaze at my shoes, until I felt his cold fingers on my cheek. His hand closed gently around my jaw, and he turned my face up. Forcing me to look directly into the black fire of his eyes.

"You should go hunt." I said, trying to turn my face away again. "You're thirsty."

He didn't answer, but kept a restraining hand on my hot skin. Not letting me move an inch from his grasp.

I don't know how long we sat there. My face in his hands, immobile as stone. It could have been a minute, it could have been an hour. I didn't know, and I didn't care. Now I was the one holding on to him, prolonging the moment. I didn't want to look away anymore as he slowly… finally… moved his lips to mine.

The contact almost burned me. It was like the first time we'd kissed, all that time ago. I felt the heat course through me and couldn't fight my fingers as they crept into his bronze hair. My hands knotted there as he deepened the kiss, his hands moving from my face and down to my waist. He pulled me round to sit on his lap, without losing contact. I let my legs straddle his waist. I couldn't breath, I couldn't think as his cold lips travelled down my neck to my collarbone. Leaving a trail of devastation in their wake.

This kiss was desperate, hungry and sad. All the confusion I'd been feeling seemed to channel through me as I pulled his face up and attacked his lips again. My heart crashed wildly in my chest as he pushed me backward on to the pillows. I'd wanted this for so long. For him to be here, beside me. But now I could hear Emily's voice in the back of my head. I saw images of Edward walking away from me in the forest… of the cold earth that I had buried my face in. Then I saw Jacob's face. It was shining in the sunlight as he laughed. Never had I seen him look so beautiful… or so human.

I pushed against Edward's chest and he pulled away, as I knew he would. We both stared at each other, dazed, confused and hurting. The hole in my chest was ripping open, but it didn't feel the same. This wasn't the hole that Edward had cut. This was something new, something fresher. It seared at my insides and cut through my heart. Tears blinded me as I got up from the bed. I had to get out.

I ran from the room, letting the tears gush freely as I fled to the front door. What was this? What had just happened? Edward was behind me, trying to pull me to him but I was having none of it. I flung open the door and flew out into the bright sunlight. There was nobody around. Edward came after me, his skin shimmering as I bolted through the trees. I had to get away from him. But I knew it was useless, as he put a cold hand on my arm and pulled me round to face him. I shuddered to a halt.

Neither of us said anything, but we were both hurting badly.

Slowly, I pulled my arm away from Edward. His eyes continued to burn into mine. Then, I put my arms around his waist and kissed his chest. I loved him so much. But he was no longer the only mythical creature in my life. I looked up into his face, and promised him with my eyes.

_I'll come back. I love you. _I promised. But I didn't know if he understood, as I began to walk away. I walked on through the trees until he couldn't see me anymore.

This time, I was the one leaving.

I was the one breaking a heart.

This time, Edward didn't follow me.

**Love it or hate it? ReViEw s'il vous plait. xx  
**


	12. Anger

**Yo!! I did this really fast, to make up for being gone so long before. Sorry, its short. I really want to get more than 200 reviews by the end of this story. I think I know how I'm going to finish it. The more reviews, the faster I will update!! I wrote this chapter using a bit of an idea LionClaw left me on Chap 10. Not all of it though. Thanks hun! Love xoxoox**

_**Anger**_

I blundered through the forest for a while, not sure where I was going. I was still shaking as sobs ripped through me, and I didn't even know why. The pain was sharp in my chest, it felt like an iron fist was gripping my heart.

After a while, I saw that the trees had thinned. I could hear voices up ahead. Angry voices. Familiar voices.

"There's no point charging in there without an explanation! We have to find out why they are back!."

That was Em's voice. She sounded distressed. I crouched behind a tree.

"He BIT Jacob, Emily! Is that not reason enough?"

Sam. He was angry. The normal composed tone in his voice was completely gone.

"But what about Bella? What if you hurt her?"

"She betrayed us. She led the blood-sucker on to our land. She is now as condemned as they are." Paul growled.

I flinched back against the tree.

"Oh shut the hell up, Paul. You don't know what you're talking about." Emily spat.

"What did you say?"

I could hear snarling as Paul's temper rose. Fuelled by the anger and confusion he felt toward the whole situation. I could almost see him shifting forwards…

"Back off, Paul!" Sam growled, his voice menacing. I peeped round the tree to see the group at last.

Emily was standing straight, her hands on her thin hips. Refusing to be intimidated by the hot headed werewolf. Paul was breathing hard, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. Sam was standing between them, a hand on Paul's wide shoulder, shoving him away from Emily.

"Why do you always defend her?" Paul yelled in Sam's face, "She befriended the leech lover! She's as bad as they are!"

"Shut up!" Sam screamed, shoving him harder.

"NO! I won't! Why do you always tell me what to do? You think you're so big, just because you're the Alpha! Maybe I've had enough of being pushed around!"

"ME? Push YOU around? You fly off the handle at the slightest thing! I HAVE to order you around, to keep you from killing everyone."

"Well you won't have to worry about that anymore! The leech lover has done it for us! Her and your precious fiancé!"

"Emily had nothing to do with it! She was led astray by that girl! She didn't know that she was going to bring the vampires back!"

Then they began to fight. Clothes ripped and fell to the floor as they snarled. Sam was much bigger, but Paul's rage was greater. They began to snap and circle each other. Now, I had to intervene, before Emily got hurt.

"STOP!" I screamed, darting out from behind the tree. And amazingly, all of them stopped for a split second. Their dark eyes looked into mine…

I saw their faces in my memories. I looked back at the past year. I remembered going shopping, and cooking with Em. I saw Sam laughing at us in the garden. I remembered Paul burning his eyebrows off at a beach party. I searched their faces, but all I saw now was deep, dark hatred. Because they didn't understand.

Paul lunged at me, and Emily screamed. I couldn't move as his huge form lumbered towards me. Sam wasn't far behind. Was he trying to get Paul away from me? Or was he helping him finish me off? I didn't know, I was frozen.

Was I going to die here? With Edward on one side of the trees, and Jake on the other? Would I die by the claws of two angry, misinformed werewolves? I was amazed to find that I wasn't scared. I was just… numb.

Time seemed to pass in slow motion as Paul jumped at me, and Emily's scream echoed out through the trees.

_Replies to reviews:_

_I-lOvE-eDwArD-yEs-I-dO: Thanks for the crit. I only did that insecure thing to show how tightly Emily uis bound to Sam. No matter how old you are, thinking that your fiancé is with someone else is painful. It wasn't a slumber party, it was a beach party lol. Of course I don't hate you! I lovez hearing your views on my story._

_petites sorcieres__: Yea. I reckon its all gonna be in Bella's POV. I am too set in my ways now, haha! I think I might have different POVs in my next story xx._

_shmexyvampire: Edward rules. And I am on Team Edward for the proper books. But I am just playing around with different ideas right now. Lol. _

_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed recently!! Especially you serial reviewers!! Songs and Lyrics, Fluffy Otters, LionClaw, TeamJacob101, twilightopaz333 etc etc!! You have no idea how much it means to me! D please don't give up on me!!_

**Click 'go' pleeease xoxo**


	13. Realisation

**Hey! I'm still feeling guilty so here'****s the next one!! I might be a bit busy soon. So if you want chap 13, PLEASE review! They make me so happy! (Even if its crit) I'll try and make them longer if you review. Pleeeaseee!! - puppy eyes -  
**

_**Realisation**_

"Bella! Bella, wake up."

I groaned uneasily, I felt like I'd been run over by a speeding train. Every muscle in my body ached and my head was throbbing worst of all.

"Wha-what?" I managed to stutter.

"Oh, Bella! Thank God you're all right. I thought they'd killed you!"

I lifted my heavy eyelids to see Emily leaning over me. Her face were pinched, like she'd been crying. _Why? _I thought, managing to congregate a thought through the haze of pain.

Then it came flooding back to me.

_Leaving Edward in the woods._

_Being attacked by Paul, and perhaps Sam as well?_

I tried to sit up, but had to lie back down again as a wave of queasiness rolled through my sore body. Emily's hands fluttered uselessly over me, she didn't know what to do.

"What happened?" I croaked.

"Paul attacked you, and Sam tried to pull him back. But he pulled too hard and they both fell on top of you. I don't think being hit by two heavy werewolves was very good for you."

"No, it wasn't." I managed a weak smile, "But why am I still alive? Why didn't Paul kill me?"

"Three of the Cullens came smashing into the clearing and yanked the guys away from you. I pulled you to the side, and then they all ran off through the trees. What has been going on here, Bells? Why didn't you tell me they were back?"

I ignored her question and managed to sit up properly.

"Which Cullens were here?"

"Um, the big muscled one, the thin blond one, and the leader."

_What?_

Normally, I would've worried about Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle getting hurt. Or about Jake, perhaps he was fighting them? But these things were eclipsed by the one question that blazed painfully through my numb head.

Where was Edward?

_Surely he would've wanted to save me? Had I hurt him that badly?_

Sadness, guilt and a searing pain swept through me. What had I done?

In that moment, I made a subconcious, instantaneous decision. I needed Edward.

"Where's Edward?"

"Edward? I didn't see him."

I jumped to my feet, ignoring the pain that coursed from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. I had to find him. What if he did something rash? I began to run back through the trees, following the nearby trail this time.

"Bella?" Emily called, coming up behind me. "Where are you going?"

"I have to find Edward." I said, before rushing on.

"Fine! But you have to explain this to me later. I'll stay here and wait for Sam and Paul to come back."

I kept on running, not bothering to reply as Emily disappeared from view. Normally, I would have felt guilty for leaving her. But I had no time.

I saw Edward's pain-stricken face in my head. His eyes burning into mine as I'd walked away. I hadn't meant it, not at all. It was a spiteful way of showing how he had made me feel a year ago. It had been selfish and wrong of me.

My heart hammered as I flew through the trees, _he wouldn't be that stupid, would he? _Part of me knew he would, he had already contemplated suicide once that day. So I kept running, my breath coming in sharp bursts.

I couldn't live without him. What had I done?

_Please, God. _I begged _PLEASE._

I battered through the thinning undergrowth, until I came to the place that we had parted.

The sun was setting now, I must have been unconscious for a while.

It was twilight again, the end of another day.

As my eyes focused on the area, I screamed. I heard it echo back in the silence, as the wind shook the leaves behind me.

Edward was where I'd left him. His bronze hair shining in the remaining sunlight.

I'd never seen anything so beautiful, or so sad.

It was Edward.

_My Edward._

Lying motionless in the grass.

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**Ohh yeah, if you like the Georgia Nicolson Series, you can read my new fic!! "Red Bottom Fiasco" (D.W this is my priority.) xx**


	14. Reality?

**HEYYY!! i JUST finished BD!! It is freaking amazing!! Oooooohhhh!! :( CAN'T BELIEVE ITS OVER. I know you'll all be dashing off to read it, but I hope you have time to review this little creation lol. Sorry it took so long, again!! Please keep going. Not long to go!! I wrote this all this morning, just after I;d finished the book. I got inspired. Liz xoxoxo**

_**Reality?**_

This wasn't real.

I fought back the mix of nausea and bewilderment that threatened to engulf my body. I couldn't comprehend the scene before me. It did not make sense, even as my brain floundered for an explanation. Edward didn't sleep, he was a freaking vampire…

"Edward!" I called frantically. Perhaps this was some sick joke? I wouldn't blame him, the was all my fault and I deserved whatever I got. But I still could not believe that he would do this, just to spite me.

I shakily walked over to him, falling to my knees beside his limp form. His eyes were open. The black pupils wide and staring. Staring at nothing. I shivered in the breeze that rustled the leaves around us. The area was deserted… or so I thought. My eyes were too weak to see the figures approaching, at least until they were in good view. They walked slowly at first, but suddenly increased in speed as they hastened towards me. They were Vampires, obviously.

I breathed a sigh of relief as Alice, Esme and Rosalie drew level with me. Each set of topaz eyes were wide and horrified as they took in Edward's petrified form. Quickly, Esme got to her knees beside him, and began to whisper in his ear.

"Bella?" Alice said, grabbing my hand and yanking me roughly to my feet, "What happened?"

"I-I don't know." I was disorientated, and a bit hysterical. Alice seemed to register this, as she put an arm round my shoulder..

"He's not responding." Esme's soprano voice informed us from the floor, "I've never seen anything like this before. We need Carlisle. Where is he?"

Alice's pixie face went blank and she closed her eyes – concentrating hard. After a few seconds they snapped open again, as she hissed in frustration "I can't see. They are too close to the dogs."

I heard Rosalie hiss loudly.. She was standing back, surveying the forest edge with her raptor vision, for once there ws no hint of boredom or vanity in her perfect face. Her lips were set in a thin line.. Dimly, I felt a stab of guilt for doubting her love for the rest of the clan, Esme noticed too and said.

"Don't worry. They can handle a few mutts. They might not even be fighting at all."

Rosalie ignored her, continuing to glare at the trees. Alice rolled her eyes, and whispered to me:

"She's just pissed that she can't go join in the fun."

Rosalie heard that, and turned to glare at her sister.

"I can go." She snarled grumpily, "And I will."

Alice opened her lips to argue, gesturing to Edward, but Esme cut her off.

"Maybe that's a good idea. We can get him back to the house. Rosalie, you go fetch the guys. Tell them we need Carlisle here urgently. Don't get caught up in any fighting. Do you hear?" There was an authoritative tone in Esme's musical voice that she didn't use very often.

"Whatever." Rosalie muttered, before gracefully skulking off through the trees.

"Now what do we do?" I asked Alice, not looking up from Edward's stone face. Letting the anguish rip through my body – still reeling from what I had done to him.

"We'll have to run back, carrying you both. Can we manage that, Esme?"

"I think so."

"What about my truck? I left it by La Push."

"I don't think we should go back there tonight. If Carlisle and the others are negotiating, we may ruin any progress they've made."

I looked confusedly at her, "Aren't we already on their land?"

"Yes… but La Push is a direct breech. A Quileute wolf actually lives there. It might be seen as a greater offence."

"I could go get it.." I said, looking uneasily down at Edward. I didn't want to be parted from him for a second. Alice realised this.

"Don't worry, Bella. You can get it tomorrow. I'll call Charlie and tell him that you're staying with me tonight."

"He doesn't even know you're back."

"Well he's about to find out."

I sat next to Edward, where he lay motionless on his black leather sofa. I'd closed his eyes with my fingertips – the black stare was a little frightening – and was spending my time tracing the contours of his wonderful face. A face I'd come so close to losing… a face I might've already lost.

"Bell?" Alice entered, holding her silver cell phone out to me. I took it wordlessly, still looking at Edward as I prepared to lie through my teeth.

"Bella?"

"Hey, Dad." I fought to keep my voice at a normal level.

"Are you all right? You sound weird."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Alice just came back. Is it alright if I stay over with her? We need a catch up."

"Sure, that's fine. If you're cool with that."

"I am."

There was silence on the line, I could almost hear Charlie struggling to get the words out.

"_He's_ not back… is he?"

"No." I answered dully, while staring down at the 'he' in question. I heard Charlie breathe a sigh of relief.

"Oh, well then. Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight, Dad."

I snapped the phone shut and handed it back to Alice, before running my hands down Edward's iridescent skin again.

Suddenly, Alice stiffened. Her eyes closed and she became very still. I glanced up at her, and watched as she saw the future.

"Rosalie has found Carlisle. They are coming."

One of us relaxed. But it wasn't me.

A doctor was on his way...

To find what?

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	15. Love

**Hey.**

**You've missed me, haven't you xD? I've sure as hell missed you lot. I'm SOOOOO infinitely sorry this has taken MONTHS and MONTHS to post... but things have been really strange for me recently. But hey, here it is. The long awaited final chapter of "Jake and Edward". Soorrryyyyy!!!! **

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**Love**

_Bella's POV__: Thoughts_

_It's__ so cold. Every inch of me is cold. Not just my exterior, but every single cell that makes up my existence. Every heartbeat feels like a painful reminder. Cold. Cold. Cold._

_As I stand here, watching the turn of the water in the darkness, I remember things about my life. Jacob… such a wonderful man. I do love him. And I know that now, but my love would never be enough for either of us. Not completely. __**My love would never be enough.**__ Not while it's been so poisoned and twisted by someone else. Not while it __**belongs**__ to someone else._

_Edward…_

_Oh, Edward, how wretched I am. I know you can't hear me, as you lie insensible in the Cullen house…but I do wish you could. I wish you were here to put your arms around me and tell me that everything is alright. That everything wrong that's ever happened was some nightmare. A nightmare that only you can wake me from. But I know that this is stone cold reality, the wind is harsh and bitter, (I suppose this may be the end of Forks' warm nights), and I can feel the slight spray of water as it crashes against the cliffs. This is too vivid to be a wistful dream. _

_I'm so sorry, Edward. I killed you, didn't I? Carlisle has been spouting some nonsense about a "vampiric faint" but I know you're gone now. I can feel it. Because I know, if you were coming back, you would have done it already. And Edward, I can't bear to be somewhere that you aren't._

_It's__ funny, you were the first to say that to me. Now I find that I can honestly return the sentiment. Because I… I love Jacob. And Emily, and Charlie, and Renee. But being without you has never been an option for me, not really. Even when you left me – the darkest time of my life – I survived. Because I knew you were alive. Out there. Somewhere. But now I can place my hand on your stone cold cheek and feel nothing. I can't do it, Edward. I can't. _

_I love you, Edward. I do._

_Now, I'm stepping towards the edge. My toes hang across the rock. It makes me think of the last time I was here. A year ago, foolishly cliff diving in an attempt to hear your voice, I suppose this is a similar situation. That's what I'm doing…_

_Diving._

_Look after my heart, I've left it with you._

_I wrote that on a paper. I wonder if anyone will find it. I'm sure nobody will know what it means, but it was a comfort to leave it all the same._

_The wind is whipping at my face and I'm crying as I bend my knees. Ready to dive. Ready to fly…_

_I'm flying…_

…

…

…

_Jacob…_

Epilogue: Love

JACOB BLACK

The darkness was cold and impenetrable. I remember the sharp striking sensation that had hit me in the back of the neck, as I struggled to push the writhing Bella off me. Then all I remember is blackness. Somehow, that was scarier than the pain.

When I woke up, I was in the cottage. The rest of the pack surrounded me, each pair of dark eyes agaze with a mixture of worry and fury. I remember - as I came back to consciousness - wondering why they looked so frightened.

That was before I became aware of the fiery pain that burned every inch of my (now human) body. It blazed angrily through my chest, and I howled in pain and bit my lips hard enough to draw blood as it hit me with vile intensity. Never had I felt such acute agony. I wanted nothing more than to die, right then.

Apparently I slipped away again for a few more hours, my system protecting itself from the thousand needles pricking at my insides. And when I awoke again, all I felt was a dull, throbbing ache in my neck. I managed to sit up, to see that I was lying on the couch in the small sitting room. Emily was leaning over me, holding a damp cloth to my forehead. As my eyes fixed on hers, she breathed a sigh of relief and called for Sam to come in. He did, accompanied by Quil, Embry and Paul. They all looked happy to see my eyes open again. I took this opportunity to look down at myself.

I was completely naked. Only a think blanket protecting my modesty, and I could see tracks of blood dried on my chest, where they had run from the wound in my neck. As I flexed my arms and stretched, I winced to find a small echo of the fiery pain. It lingered in every muscle… every joint. But I was more or less ok, and could already feel it ebbing away as my mind focused.

"Where's Bella?"

My throat hurt as I spoke, my lips dry and salty from my blood as the words emerged. I blinked and pushed my sweaty hair away from my face, to fix my eyes unwaveringly on Sam. His gaze was shifting, fixing on anything but my face. He didn't answer.

"Where is she?" I said, a little louder. Tensing as I swung my legs off the couch, clutching the blanket around me.

Nobody would look at me. Why wouldn't they?

"She's back with the leech, isn't she?" I said, sighing.

No one said anything.

It was completely silent.

I looked around at Emily. She was sitting on the floor, and I was shocked to see that she was crying. Her red-rimmed eyes seeping at the corners.

"Em? Em, what's the matter?"

She didn't answer.

"WHERE IS SHE?!"

My shout cracked like a whip in the still room. Paul and Embry flinched. Emily cringed into the wall, rocking herself as tears seeped on to her cheeks, making her face seem even more ghastly and deformed.

I was frustrated. Why wouldn't they speak?!

"Fine. I'll find her myself."

I got off the couch, making sure no private parts of my anatomy were visible, and headed for the door. I felt Sam come up behind me, placing a restraining hand on my shoulder. I shook it off impatiently.

"Jake-" He started, but then I found that I didn't want to hear it.

"Shut up." I muttered, before heading outside.

It was… light now. The sun shone lazily through the trees. It was funny, Forks had certainly been getting some freaky weather. It had been getting dark when I'd been attacked… it dawned on me that I must have been unconscious the whole night.

It was probably about twelve o'clock now, I reasoned by the position of the sun and my natural instinct. Once out of sight of the cottage, I shrugged off the blanket and began to run. Letting my hair whip out behind me as I phased…

I got to Charlie's in under five minutes, it felt good to run again. It eased my aching bones and made me feel more alert. Once I reached the house, I stopped on the front porch, still in my wolf form. I would just check Bella was alright, before leaving. I climbed the tree outside Bella's window, and looked inside. Her bedroom was deserted, the bed looking cold and unslept in.

Once I'd climbed down again, I saw that there were no lights on in the house, and the curtains were all shut tight. There was no one there. I decided I'd cut through the forest, up to the boundary line.. to see if I could pick up her scent towards the Cullens' place.

I ran through the trees, a little worried at this point. Where was Bella?

I found her.

Boy, did I find her.

After a couple of minutes, I became aware of voices in a clearing up ahead. I recognised Charlie's amongst them… and I was shocked to find it sounded like he was crying. I hurried towards them, and hid amongst the trees.

There were six figures outlined, besides Charlie. I recognised all the Cullens, excluding the monster who had injured me. Their scent stung my nose and I growled as I peered closer.

The little Cullen – Alice, I think – had her head buried in a blond male's chest, and all of them had grim, painful expressions. But none of their faces matched Charlie's. He was sobbing angry, animal-like sobs that made him shake. Esme, the mother figure, had her arms wrapped around him. Why was he crying?

Two of the Cullens (the leader and the big one) were leaning over something in the middle of the circle.

I think the truth was dawning on me at that point, but I shoved it aside. Refusing to let it in. I convinced myself it was a strange situation, probably with a perfectly innocent explanation.

Then, I saw it. The big vampire moved aside to reveal a big hole in the earth. Beside it, lay a thin, black box. A coffin.

Even then, I didn't accept it. I remember thinking _ooh, is Edward having a little nap? _And this made me laugh in my head. But then I looked closer.

The lid was open, and I could see a trace of dark hair whipping upwards in the light breeze. It shimmered in the strange sunlight and cut me up inside. It cut me up, and ripped me open. This pain… this realisation hurt more then the excruciating suffering I'd undergone not hours before. It overshadowed it in its intensity, and still burns inside me every day and every night.

I let out a loud howl, which screeched upwards and echoed back towards me. I ran through the clearing, battling with the knowledge I couldn't take.

I ran to my Bella. Who lay still and silent in her little black grave, never to move again. Never to laugh … never to flush scarlet…dead at nineteen.

I looked down at her. She was as beautiful as ever, her body cool and perfect. Her eyes closed, her face smooth. How could she have ever doubted her loveliness? Here, in death, she looked much like her beloved parasites. Cold, perfect, and dead.

I reached out to stroke her face, but saw that I was reaching with a paw. Quickly I phased back, not caring that every inch of me was on display as I knelt over her. My hot tears trickled on to her pale skin, making it look as if she were crying too. I wiped my tears from her eyes, not wanting to spoil such immortal beauty.

Immortal beauty…

"Why didn't you bite her?!" I screamed at Carlisle, who was standing up and looking forlornly down at the girl. "WHY? Why didn't you make her a parasite? She'd still be here. She'd still be _her_. She'd still be MINE."

"She was never yours!" I heard Edward scream, and I turned to see him emerge from the trees.

He looked broken, and as bad as I felt. No longer beautiful, his eyes were hollow and dead, two shining holes in his ashen face.

I screamed. "WHY? Why is she dead, Cullen?! YOU killed her. If you hadn't come back, this never would have happened. Bella would still be alive… she'd still be…"

Edward roared desperately, before running back through the trees.

I never saw him again.

I looked down at Isabella.

_Mine._

_She'd still be mine._

***

Now, I lie in the forest. Beside the small grave of Isabella Swan. No plaque marks her body, just a small card that reads:

_Look after my heart, I've left it with you._

Only now, do I know the full facts of her death.

That night, she had discovered Edward lying still in the grass. She, Esme and Alice has brought him to Carlisle. Who had found nothing that could help him. Nobody knew what was wrong. He appeared dead. Bella believed this was her fault, for she had walked away from him that day - leaving him, to be with me. She could no longer live with herself, so had thrown herself off a cliff. The same cliff she had dived from, just a year ago. Only now, her intention _was_ to die.

When the Cullens found her, it was too late. She'd drowned in the icy depths of the river. I can imagine her face as it bobbed above the water. Milky white. She left no note, only the card that the Cullens tacked to her grave. _Look after my heart, I've left it with you._

Edward Cullen awoke not an hour later, not knowing what had happened. He said he'd collapsed after Bella's departure, and was engulfed by blackness. He claimed it felt as if he were sleeping again, although such a pastime is alien to the leeches.

Bella has been dead now for two months, and Edward Cullen now sleeps beside her. Or at least his ashes do. He ran to the volturi after meeting me, and Alice Cullen went to retrieve his ashes four days later.

Forks is now a quiet place, the remaining Cullens having moved away somewhere. Now you'd never guess that mythical creatures ever existed in Forks. Unless you came across Bella Swan's grave, and had an amazing knowledge of her life. Like mine.

Well, I suppose mythical creatures do exist. Well, _one _does. The pack disbanded, now there is no need for protection. However, I remain. I haven't phased since I ran from the clearing that day. I can't bear to, I guess. It would be soul-destroying, to return back to the body that Bella loved. I think it might kill me too, and that would be an interesting turn of events, wouldn't it?

The only reason I'm still here, is for Bella. I know she would have wanted me to survive. To keep on fighting and to find some new way of life.

To keep on fighting.

This idea makes me laugh bitterly.

Perhaps she didn't give a crap about me. I bet her last sentiment was for that bloodsucker. That leech who killed her. I'm sure that's whom her last living thought lies with… I'm sure.

But I can't hate her.

I love her too much.

Far, far too much.

**Its all over!!**

**:( So sad. But it had to end.. xD... **

**I couldn't think how to end it so I guessed.**

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